I tried out for our year 9 Rugby team. I was easily the tallest in the year and I definitely wasn’t fully lanky, had some size to me. There was one guy on the team, who weighed twice what I did and was probably a head shorter. First game, I was on the bench and watched him get absolutely creamed in a one-on-one the first time he got the ball. As in, we probably should have called an ambulance type of creamed. Decided against playing rugby after that
That reminds me.
Our year 4 teacher was an ancient fart. Rumour had it he had been the first teacher employed when the school was built in the mid-1800s, anyway, when the whiteboards were installed replacing the blackboards, our school got a grant to get a couple of fancy, dancy “smartboards”.
Well, he wasn’t having any of that nonsense technology in his classroom, and instead of using the stylus pens that came with it, because he didn’t like the fraction of a second lag, decided on the day it was installed in his classroom that he’d just use his whiteboard makers.
I don’t think the principal at the end of the day was too impressed that the brand new smartboard (that probably cost a few thousand dollars at least) was now unusable after just a day because the whiteboard marker wasn’t able to be removed. He had attempted to rub it off with a bit of methylated spirits, which just ruined it further.
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I remember playing rugby in a Waratah Shield game. We kicked off, a ruck formed, I was about to join it when I got hit by a sniper.
Something exploded in my face. No one saw a thing. I woke up a minute later with the captain telling me to get up but appearing in two different places. I shut my eyes again and took no further part in the game.
Record for the shortest time on the field.
We devised a great IED. Penny bunger inserted in an orange. Light wick, toss over A block into the middle of the quadrangle. Some poor kid covered in orange pulp with no idea where it came from.
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I am sure that getting knocked out a few times playing rugby at school definitely limited what could have been a brilliant academic career.
Not a bad school about 20 years ago.
We used to have hot dogs as an option as well. The bun totally crunchy from sitting in the pie oven.
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Used to get hot cheese rolls in a morning before school. Pizza Rounders for lunch.
In one of the high schools I went to, the lunch lady/canteen lady, was this ancient old alcoholic, and she’d forget to put the meat pies and hot food in the pie warmer until like 5 mins before lunch and recess. She’d crank the heat all the way to 11, so you’d get your pie/sausage roll/pizza rounder etc, and it would be piping hot, and you’d bite into it, get minor third degree burns from the pastry, and then just icy cold filling. We just shrugged it off and continued what we were doing for lunch.
Nowadays what you get in school canteens is just pathetic.
Looking forward to getting dragged into the principals office when my kids head off to school because I’ve committed the heinous crime of giving my kids a small bag of chips, chocolate or a couple of biscuits. Or made their sandwich with white bread.
We used to get pizza pockets. God I loved them. The filling was always so questionable, but they tasted amazing once the third degree burns healed! Especially on a rainy winter day!
One thing I missed out on high school was proper canteen lunches. As a Polish person, I used to be the one with lunchbox unpacked smelling of garlic and pickles… Heaven forbid i’d ever have to buy something from the canteen!
Although there was an awesome chip shop in Bexley. $5 for a massive paper wrap of chips.
I used to be envious of the ethnic kids. 
I used to have a rotation of sandwiches without fail.
Monday: Ham.
Tuesday: Devon & Tomato Sauce
Wednesday: Peanut Butter
Thursday: Vegemite (sometimes with cheese)
Friday: Canteen Day.
I remember being in high school around the time they started taking kids eating healthy seriously. We used to have two vending machines at our canteen for soft drinks and chips, one day they were ripped out and the canteen stopped selling junk too.
A rumour started that it was the new teacher in the PE department (not true obviously but she was scapegoated nonetheless), everyone believed it and the vitriol from ALL the kids was so bad she had to leave lol.
This caused us to learn that the power of the student body could be used for evil. A few years later we spread a rumour that a teacher was a pedophile, it snowballed, and he “went to England to study” until our year graduated.
We had two similar variations, Sack Wack (punch in the nuts) and Bread Basket (same in the guts).
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The pedo rumour goes a bit beyond hijinks…
Surely goes without saying! I just assume thats ubiquitous.
We too had the vending machine taken away and soft drinks stopped being sold in the canteen. This led to a few kids having a trade in which they carried a big sport bag with ice bricks in it full of soft drinks.
We just went to Liquorland and bought beer. 
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Shit I’m too old for that to have happened. Coke machine was always fully stocked and the canteen had all the bad stuff.
Though the best food was never on campus. We had Svendson down on main street. Best chips I’ve ever had. Nothing since has come close. Sadly now closed.
One of my few good memories of primary school was annihilating the Tazo circuit at school with my metal slammer.
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It was so long ago that Dinosaurs roamed the Earth.
This game was amazing in Primary School till it was banned when one guy was tackled in a text book round the ankles tackle and ended up hitting the edge of a garden bed and took a massive chuck out of his knee that needed a heap of stitches. Also we called it Cockielaura (sp?) and no idea where that name came from.
Spot the kid who went to a public high school in the inner city; in other games we turned handball into a contact sport where the bell would ring for the end of lunch, 20 of us would jump into the square, play one game and the person who lost the point would be chased and had the shit beat out of them.
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Lunch for me in senior high school was a bag of hot chips a bottle of coke and a couple of Marlboros at the local cafe.