Sack the Board: the Cricket thread I

The most interesting thing about today is the Cameron Bancroft interview. Which wasn’t that interesting.

Actually, scratch that. I’ve just turned over to the New Zealand-Sri Lanka Test match and 13 wickets have fallen on the first day already. Southee destroying the Sri Lankans in their reply so far.

Why do the staff of the MCG find it so difficult to prepare a pitch suitable for Test Cricket?

Because they’re Victorian, and by default, fucking idiots.

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What a dud pitch. Should move to duke balls in Melbourne to make it interesting

Buts its the G, the G, the G, the G, short walk down the Yarra, short walk down the Yarra, City centre, So many sporting facilities, so many sporting memories, VFL, VFl, VFL, VFL, cricket, memories, VFL, the GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGggggggg, Yarra,

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG Yarra, GGGGGGGGGGGG

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Dude, you totally forgot the laneways!

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For those as disinterested in the Melbourne Test as I am, New Zealand are batting again after toppling Sri Lanka for 104. Boult got 6/4 off 15 balls this morning and the Kiwis are 0/57, so by my reckoning they’re already about 130 in front.

Second test was a great test and pitch. This one is horrific

The cynic in me wants to say this was designed to be a draw pitch so its all to play for in Sydney and it will increase the chance of big crowds as well as maximum interest for the Sydney Test. Considering its CA in charge of this country, it wouldn’t hugely surprise me.

Forget the CA conspiracies. It’s all about the AFL and money. But mostly the AFL.

MCG make more money from AFL and a drop in pitch than prioritising cricket and keeping the pitch there all year round. AFL is king in Melbourne and will fuck all before them. Any tradition or sport that is not AFL can go fuck itself. And for the most part, those traditions and sports let themselves get fucked by the almighty AFL.

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The desperation of the CH7 commentators talking up the almighty G as a venue as if it somehow compensates for the turgid, grinding, painful excuse for a pitch and therefore game that is on display is laughable and nauseating.

A great stadium for cricket it may be. But a great ground for cricket it is not. Not anymore anyway.

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All if the above is 100% correct. They need to drop the “C” from the name of the ground.

Time for a four test series to be Brisbane, Adelaide, Perth and Sydney. Fuck Melbourne.

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I hope Brisbane and Sydney both continue to push back against the AFL’s desire for drop in pitches at the major grounds. No one else has. They are CRICKET grounds after all. Or at least they used to be.

The tail wags the dog.
AFL was invented as a game for cricketers to keep fit over winter.

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Bang on.

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VFL wins with all hands. A relatively recent phenomenon has been the competition between cricket and VFL to nab the next prospective athletic genius and harness them to one sport. The more test cricket is run into the ground the less appealing it becomes in comparison for the budding tyros. Hence test and longer form cricket have been progressively picked to pieces, losing test quality grounds, pitches, etc.

This also serves to promote shorter form cricket which doesn’t require any real pitch preparation other than a venue with lights. Any form of strip serves as a ‘pitch’, and the whole shebang is over in a couple of hours. ‘Cricket’ becomes a hit and giggle exercise played in surrounds and atmospheres that become increasingly generic, crucially not impeding the gradual usurping of venues, markets, and even cultural and sporting status by the winter game.

Christ we have some shit batsmen, absolutely brainless stuff from Harris.

Selecting two impatient morons to open the batting is an interesting strategy

There was no way for Australia to win the Test after the declaration yesterday, and that they could only lose it. Australia are not doing a bad job of doing exactly that this morning. Its like nobody is paying any attention of where the field is at any given moment. Both openers should just about be dropped from the final Test just for the absolutely garbage ways they got out earlier. They didn’t value their wicket at all. If it was good enough for the likes of Kohli and Pujara to be careful …

So, how many New South Welshmen do we have in the top seven of our batting order?