We did a maths excursion to Wonderland. Reckon the teachers just wanted a day on the rides.
Questions included the proportion of segments on a canopy that were a certain question, and timing how long we were in line as a proportion of how long the ride went.
Good times!
My 1 unit Health class got to go to Wonderland to make up numbers for the general science class to go.
I have no idea why they wanted to go.
Sounds almost as good as the one time after an excursion, my modern history teacher was getting us on the train home. Instead of going back to Penrith, though, we ended up in Hornsby.
My year 9/10 drama class convinced our teacher to go see three of the Harry Potter movies.
And nobody noticed at the station?
(Pulling into Town Hall) âI donât remember Mt Druitt Station looking so UndergroundâŚâ
(Crossing the harbour bridge) âCoh, this piece of Sydneyâs infrastructure looks bloody familiar, but I dont remember the crossing over Blacktown Creek looking so grandure or elaborate!â
(Arriving at Wahroonga) âBlimey! St. Marys has never looked so leafy, or upmarket!â
Oh, we noticed. I donât think the teacher did!
And thats why he was your history, and not your Georgraphy teacher. 
Geography is really important in history.
For example, without the geography of the Fertile Crescent we donât get the conditions in which to domesticate wild grains and create civilization there.
Without the geography of the Swiss Alps, no unaligned Swiss Republic.
No Swiss Republic, no Nazi gold and that would mean the collapse of the Argentinian economy.
At the end of every year in High School we got to go to Dreamworld. One year we wanted to go to Wet ânâ Wild but werenât allowed to for some reason.
We also went to Movie World one year because of a film component in English.
The only school excursion out Wonderland way I ever had was to the reptile park (was it a reptile park or a zoo, I donât remember) that was right next door, and how we werenât allowed into Wonderland.
We got to go to Jamberoo for a business studies excursion. It was at a time that they were planning to remodel the park into a more âwater theme parkâ like it is now so that was cool.
On the way home, one of the âcoolâ kids at the back of the bus got caught drinking Jim beam after he puked all over himself.
Teacher took the bottle off him and told him how his parents will be contacted.
Said âcool kidâ proceeded to take out a large knife and threaten the teacher and the bus driver unless the bus driver pulled over. Kid just bolted out the door somewhere before the âgong.
We all had one of those guysâŚ
Ours got threatened on the way home from an athletics carnival at Narabeen.
The teacher told the bus driver to pull over and give the kid an ultimatum. âBehave or get offâ
The kid just casually picked up his bag and walked off⌠when the teacher tried to make him sit down he said, âdont touch me or ill report you for abuse⌠youre fucked no matter what because youre âdumpingâ me in the middle of nowhere.â
Ive never seen more fear in a teacherâs eyes before.
We had one who threw a basketball into the back of a teacherâs head, threw a thick giant textbook at the same teacher and only ended up expelled after he threatened someone with a knifeâŚ
In fairness though, the teacher in question was the biggest bitch in the world. Sheâd regularly give marks on exams and projects down to 2 decimal points. Things like 9.84/10 were common
First rule of being a teacher. Never give kids an ultimatum like that. Youâll lose every day ending in Y and twice on Sundays.
In Year 9 biology we did an excursion to the Long Reef rockpools to study something or other. I was mucking about, and eventually was told to go sit on the sand and not move until they were ready to go home. I asked where, and the teacher vaguely pointed at Long Reef SLSC and uttered âOver there, somewhereâ.
So dutifully, I wandered âover there, somewhereâ. past LR SLSC, and all the way to Dee Why beach where I proceeded to sit on the beach and sunbake. Iâd been there for about almost 2 hours and started receiving multiple phone calls from my grandparents, the school, several teachers who were losing their shit at the fact I had disappeared.
The next day, I was hauled before the principal, VP, Year 9 Head, Biology teacher, my Nan and threatened with expulsion. I calmy relayed to everybody (despite his disagreement) that I was instructed to wait âOver there, somewhereâ with no clear, direct or precise location.
The principal was on the verge of taking my biology teachers word for it, when I piped up and told them I had witnesses to this conversation.
I proceeded to have the whole biology class come into the principals office and swear black and blue that they heard my biology teacher not give a direction as to where I should go (most of them were lying - had never heard the conversation).
In the end I got let off with a stern warning. My grandmother, on the other hand saw through my facade and proclaimed innocence, and gave me a more traditional punishment.
Rule one of ultimatums is never give them if youâre not prepared to follow through.
My kids hardcore supermarket tantrums when they were younger can attest to that. 
Our best one was stealing the teachers stash of alcohol on a camp in Bega and getting on it. Despite knowing what had happened they couldnât do or say anything cause they shouldnât have had it in the first place.
These appalling stories all reinforce my belief that there would be no worse job in the world than high school teacher. Is there a more terrifying transformation in nature than that of sweet loveable primary school kids into cunning psychopathic youths over a few short years (followed by, usually, a move to an overall decent end point in young adulthood and beyond).
Ask me why I didnât do a Dip Ed.
Lol.