I’m just reposting this here, dunno if @Jubal can merge it?
But yeah, a safe forum space to vent your feelings/frustrations/moods/ or ask/offer advice. Doesn’t need to be heavy or tough. But there if you need it.
I’m not 100% sure it’s first gear lubrication, but it’s not grind my gears either. I spend 10 minutes coming up with a name for a new thread about getting stuff off your chest, but I couldn’t think of anything witty, so this is going here. I guess this is a ‘safe space’
So I’ve never known by biological father. My existence was the result of a jolly good house party, a few too many alcoholic beverages, some rather moreish illegal substances and the annoying fact that the were no chemists/Woolworths open in the wee hours of the morning sometime in early 1991 for a quick condom trip.
My mother passed away from drug releated issues a few years after I was born, and I was raised by my grandparents along with the man who my mother was dating at the time she passed away. I am not his child, but he took me on as his own, and for all intents and purposes, he’s my Dad, and always will be. He’s also my godfather.
For all of my childhood until my early 20s I never knew anything really about my biological father. Other than the snippets of information I had been fed from my grandparents, extended family on my mums side and my ‘Dad’. My grandparents discouraged me from finding out about him. They held him in a rather low regard, and probably rightly so. My Dad reckons he met him once or twice in the late 80s/early 90s, but given it’s 30 years ago, and that sadly he’s a chronic alcoholic, he doesn’t really remember much.
So yeah, grew up not knowing really anything about him. Dad had thought he was from South America, but couldn’t be sure. We used to have agood chuckle that he may have actually been Diego Maradona, and perhaps my mother met him for the Centenary Cup in '88.
Fast forward to when I’m 24, and I’ve returned from Europe and I’m searching through my documents as the then-girlfriend and I are moving in together, and I find my birth certificate. Up until this point, I’d never really looked at my birth certificate. It’s not something which you really take notice of, until the few times you really do need it. Anyway, I spotted a name on the document under biological father which I had never heard or seen before. A little bit of social media detective work later, and low and behold, I discover him. I initiated a bit of conversation with him, but it’s hard. He didn’t know that my mum had passed away. Esentially, he’d split with her about 6 months after I had been born.
He was born in Cuba, and his family fled Cuba when he was young as his family were political dissidents. They fled to Spain, before re-locating to Australia. His parents moved to Florida in the U.S. in the late-80s, in the hope that the rest of their family that were still in Cuba would flee to the United States. He decided to move to the U.S. shortly after I was born to be closer to his parents.
He now has a wife that has been married to for 20+ years, and I found out I have 2 half brothers and a half sister. All younger than me. The eldest brother, and daughter don’t really want to know me, but that’s understandable and I’m OK with that. The middle brother and I get along like a house on fire. We chat regularly on Facebook messanger. He’s a bit of a wild guy, bit of a redneck. Actually runs his own hovercraft tours company down in the Floria keys. He’s promised to take me out alligator hunting when I go over eventually.
I also discovered that he has now recovered from skin cancer, which he was just getting over when I discovered him. Sadly he couldn’t come out to Australia for our wedding which I did extend an invitation too. I was a bit annoyed by that, not so much that he couldn’t make it, but tried to make amends by offering me money for the wedding. I was annoyed, because that’s not what I was after - it’s a bit late in the play to be offering up child support. I got over it.
Anyways a few months ago, my biological father messages me and asks if I would be OK if he came out to Australia I was/am. This morning he messages me and tells me he’ll be here for two weeks in the back end of next month from the 15th.
I believe it’s just him and his wife. But, I’m exciting. I’m also nervous as fuck. So much to say that is hard to communicate over Facebook messenger. We’ve chatted a few times via Skype, but everything I was to say, it’s got to be face to face. Turns out he’s staying with family friends in Campbelltown, which is Hella convenient as I’m only 15-20 mins from Campbelltown.
I’ve decided I need to write everything down I want to say, and talk about. But yeah, that’s some big news that I now have a date of meeting my biological father. My Dad is cool with it. My grandfather passed away last year, which is probably good because despite being in his mid-90s, frail and mostly imobile I’m sure he’d give throwing a few punches. My grandma sadly is in a nursing home with bad dementia, so thankfully she doesn’t need to meet him.
But yeah, excited, nervous, scared, anxious, just some of the shit that’s flowing out of me right now.
Yeah, didn’t know where to put this, but my psychologist is currently away, and I need to get some shit off my chest. Perhaps that can be the new thread “Getting shit off ya chest”.
As I write this, he’s buying me a Miami FC Messi Jersey too. 
