100% not offensive but really crap Dad joke thread

What’s a Western Sydney Wanderers fan least favourite beverage choice?

7-Up.

4 Likes

How does a non-binary person kill someone?

They/Them.

3 Likes

I texted my boss this morning if I could come in a little bit late.

She replied “dream on”.

I think that was really nice of her.

4 Likes

What do you call a Russian bloke who has 3 testicles?

Whodyanikabollockov

1 Like

I bought a very nice 12yo scotch.

His mum wasn’t happy!

4 Likes

What do you buy a Princess who already has everything?

A seatbelt and an airbag

2 Likes

I’ve just been watching a fascinating documentary about glass coffins. It’s called “Remains to be seen”.

4 Likes

Whats better than eating a mandarin?

Eating Amanda out.

3 Likes

4 Likes

I came in here to make a joke about vegan food. But I’ve stopped myself, because it would be tasteless.

4 Likes

What does Beethoven do in his grave?

He decomposes.

3 Likes

Why are there no K-Marts in Gaza?

Because everythings a Target.

2 Likes

OOF!

How do strippers get paid?
Income.

I bought a Christmas tree yesterday. The store clerk asked if I was going to put it up myself.
“God no” I replied, I’ll probably put it up in the living room.

What do you call a Jedi with anxiety?
Panicking Skywalker

4 Likes

Who is your favourite x-man?

Mine is Caitlyn Jenner

2 Likes