As spring carnival is around the corner, a physicist friend of mine has a 100% accurate method for tipping horse races.
Problem is it only works for spherical horses in a vacuum.
3 Likes
What did Mario say to Princess Peach when he broke up with her?
It’s not you. IT’S A-ME, A-MARIO!
What do you call 2 Mexican guys playing basketball?
Juan on Juan
How do you organise a space party?
You planet
Where do baby cats learn to swim?
The kitty pool.
What do you call a cow that plays the guitar?
A moosician
Have you heard of the new sport called quiet tennis?
Its like normal tennis but without the racquet
I like that one
People who bleach their butthole, are just changing their ringtone.
3 Likes
Youre telling me. I’ve got this kiwi mate, i asked him how many sexual partners he’d had. He started adding it up in his head, next thing i know he’d fallen asleep!
2 Likes
Old statisticians never die. They just get broken down by age and sex.
4 Likes
I just want everyone to know that I endorse Podiums
After all, that’s a product I can stand behind
7 Likes
I was at the airport and saw a person passed out on a baggage carousel.
Thankfully she came around
7 Likes
I just found out my father was a mime.
He never spoke to me about it.
3 Likes
First time I read that, I thought it said mine. That would have been explosive news
2 Likes
I thought he was part of the underground movement.
you’re just digging a whole for yourself
I’m just entrenching my position.
That’s just boring.
When you die, your pupils are the last thing to stop working.
They dilate.
4 Likes
What borders on stupidity?
Mexico and Canada
7 Likes
I give 50% of my wage to charity
But if she’s not working it’ll go to destiny or Mercedes
6 Likes
Whats a pornstars favourite drink?
A 7 up in cider cocktail, hold the tail.
1 Like
