There’s been reports of the autopilot function in applicable models heading directly to Poland.
Puts an all new meaning to Heiling a cab
I went to an interview for a Garbageman’s job once. When I asked the interviewer about any on the job training, he replied…
Nah, you just pick it up as you go along…
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How do you keep a blind kid entertained?
Give them a piece of sandpaper and tell them its a find a word puzzle.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Eye eat map.
Eye eat map who?
Fucking gross.
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There are rumours that Margot Robbie and Emma Watson are teaming up to do a Lesbian remake of Brokeback Mountain.
On one hand I am sick of Hollywood doing these unoriginal remakes, on the other hand, lotion.
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An Australian man was having a coffee and croissants with butter and jam in a cafe when an American tourist, chewing gum, sat down next to him.
The Australian politely ignored the American, who, nevertheless started up a conversation.
The American snapped his gum and said, ‘You Australian folk eat the whole bread?’
The Australian frowned, annoyed with being bothered during his breakfast, and replied, ‘of course.’
The American blew a huge bubble. ‘We don’t. In the States, we only eat what’s inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle them, transform them into croissants and sell them to Australia .’
The American had a smirk on his face. The Australian listened in silence.
The American persisted, ‘D’ya eat jam with your bread?’
Sighing, the Australian replied, ‘of course.’
Cracking his gum between his teeth, the American said, ‘We don’t. In the States, we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds and the leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell it to Australia.’
The Australian then asked, ‘Do you have sex in the States?’
The American smiled and said ‘Why of course we do.’
The Australian leaned closer to him and asked, ‘And what do you do with the condoms once you’ve used them?’
‘We throw them away, of course!’
Now it was the Australians turn to smile.
‘We don’t. In Australia , we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to the United States. Why do you think it’s called Wrigley’s?
What does DNA stand for?
The National Dyslexic Association.
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Did you know that being blind makes you curious?
It certainly made Stevie Wonder.
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Either that or she is doing some track testing of next year’s model and she doesn’t want competitors or paparazzi to get a sneak peak.
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When is pepper annoying?
When it gets jalapeño business.
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A man died last night falling from the balcony of a multi-storey nightclub. Police have confirmed he was not a bouncer.
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