Man bites dog. The weird but true news thread

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What a fucking champ

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that’s a real kick in the balls for those farmers

I hope whoever is responsible gets their cumuppance.

Is it premature to be making jokes about this?

Imagine being that Dutch family cooped up in a farm for 9 years while waiting for the end of the world, and emerging to…now.

I know… if only they’d waited a few more years…

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Only in the western suburbs can people be this rabid for free shit. Santa got absolutely smashed:

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Apparently, when the police brought them in for questioning, they just folded…

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https://www.northernstar.com.au/news/naked-woman-threatens-mini-golf-manager-with-knife/3944916/

A BUSINESS manager has described the terrifying moment she was confronted by a naked woman armed with a knife.
A woman confronted the female manager inside Townsville Mini Golf about 2pm after entering the venue’s kiosk area.>
The manager said the woman was naked and fears for her mental safety, with the armed woman reportedly taken to hospital by people known to her in the minutes after the ordeal.
“No one was here and I was just at the kitchen; we just put fresh oil in the fryers,” the manager said, who declined to be named.
"She came right up to me with a knife and I said ‘I’ve got no money’.
"I asked her ‘where’s your clothes?’ and I told her not to go out there (outside), and I chased after her because I knew it wasn’t a robbery.
"I’m just worried for her safety. She never said a word of English.
“But whatever she was saying, she thought she was talking.”
Police crews attended the scene and spoke to a number of witnesses.
The manager said she saw people, who appeared to be relatives or close friends, put the woman in a car.
“She just grabbed two bottles of the water from the fridge and left,” she said.
The was a scuffle at front to get her in (the car). A man picked her up and put her in the car.
“I just hope she’s in the place she needs to be.”
The manager said it was the first incident of its kind to happen at Townsville Mini Golf.
“We’ve been very lucky because we haven’t had any theft or anything here,” she said.
“Hopefully it’s just one of those things.”
An eyewitness to the incident told the Townsville Bulletin she had never seen anything like it
“I was pretty shocked,” the woman, who asked not to be identified, said.
The witness said a naked woman came running out of a nearby caravan park about 2pm.
“She went across in front of us. She was completely naked,” the witness said.
She said after allegedly grabbing the bottles of water, the woman ran down Kings Road towards CastleTown.
Around that time a man came running out of the caravan park chasing the woman, while another man in a car also gave chase.
The naked woman was then tackled and put into the back of the car and, when she managed to out of the car on the opposite side of the road, was retrieved again.
The car then left along Woolcock St heading north.
The witness said she spoke to nearby road workers who said another commotion involving the naked woman occurred a few days ago.
A police spokesperson said they are investigating the incident.

For anyone who missed the most important news in Sydney today:

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Pfft, 3 baboons. It’s hardly a few buffalo running down King St.

What a great day that was

Rugby League is asking for government handouts to help it through these difficult times. ROFL

$500,000,000 is apparently the asking price. He actually had the balls to say that poor footballers on $300,000 a year will struggle to make their mortgage repayments. Prick…