More like a Smiths’ song.
Yeah, I can see that too.
I’m in good company if their lyrics were typo’s as well…
People with dashcams/helmetcams who think they are now vigilante heros.
Had a guy follow me to my driveway and yell something about, get ready for a fine, there’s a fine on the way! it’s all on camera.
I cut a corner at 10km/h as I turned into my narrow quiet street to avoid the traffic island.
he neglects to mention anything about him speeding and tailgating me on the way home.
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From what I’ve been told they can’t be used in court. We were planning on installing a security camera out the front of our house (crazy neighbor and a dispute with previous owners), but a friend who’s a solicitor told us that if anything were to happen, the courts won’t accept them as evidence.
yeah my guess is this guy probably wouldn’t show the police lest they ask him questions about the speed he caught up to me and driving about 1m behind me for a few minutes
People in my office take up enormous amounts of space in the office fridge by just placing their big cool-bags in there each morning.
Because opening them and taking the food out and placing it on a shelf takes mere seconds and fuck that, right?
Space in there is limited and they chew up heaps of it by doing this.
(Also, I’m 99% sure its fucking counter-intuitive since they never even at least open the cool-bags, so ironically and frustratingly the coolness of the fridge won’t even permeate into the bag… , it’s a utterly pointless endeavour, literally may as well leave the bag out)
I put a freezer brick in my cool bag. Why do they need to put it in the fridge?
Coz people are completely fucked
April Fools’ Day - is there a worse day on the calendar?
Valentine’s Day might come close
It is such an idiotic concept… I cant believe that in 2019 people still do April’s fools stuff
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In the age of Trump, anti-vaxxers and Infowars, it’s just pointless. There’s nothing clever in fooling people in this climate.
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The only good thing about April Fools Day is that it’s the only day of the year where people actually question what they read on facebook before believing it.
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Festivus has come early, I gotta lot of problems with you people etc.
Gripe 1: the title “social media influencer”. You’re not an influencer, you’re a stock standard cash for comment product whore. Anyone who follows these vapid skanks on Instagram, boosting their reach and allowing them to be paid thousands for doing nothing but get their cans out and apply a filter is an enabler and part of society’s problems.
Gripe 2: those Australia Post ads, claiming that everyone is besties with their postman or some shit. Do me a fucking favour.
Gripe 3: I topped up my Opal in bed last night, about 10:30. 9am this morning it still hasn’t been applied, second time in a row it’s taken 12+ hours instead of the 1 hour promised for use on buses. I still blame you, Gladys, you incompetent sack of shit.
Gripe 4: the biggun, I’ve been festering on this for months… elevator etiquette. I work in a building containing several of those dodgy English schools so there’s plenty of dumb students about for starters, but I now staunchly believe our immigration policy should based on forbidding anyone from a non-pony… I mean non-elevator country being allowed in unless they pass an exam on correct and proper usage first. Immediate deportation for any of the following offences:
- Pushing straight into the lift ahead of those of us who are patiently waiting in order of arrival in the foyer.
- Standing right in front of the doors as they open.
- Pushing straight into the lift without having the common courtesy to stand aside and let people out first. FFS, it’s not going to leave the building without you mate.
- Being unable to interpret the up/down light right outside the lift. I’m sick and tired of dumb cunts needlessly piling in to go up, when the lift is in fact pre-advertised as about to go down.
- Expecting the lift to magically know which floor you want. Almost daily I ride with idiots who are glued to their phone and don’t press a button. Either they frantically press it and sigh after having already passed their destination, or they get off in front of me and then do the double-take and turn back in my way upon realising they’re on the wrong floor.
- Being a comedian who thinks it’s hilarious to press all floor buttons on exit, thus making those about to enter take the scenic route up to their destination. The next bloke who does this is copping a beating.
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Superb
One of the best.
Our elevator doors at work have a pretty narrow time window of remaining open, so I’m gonna contradict your 4.1. If I’m closer to the newly arrived conveyance and the person(s) there before me are not close to the lift in question, I’m gonna get in before the door shuts, rather than standing aside waiting for them to make their way over. My entry then keeps the door open for a couple of extra seconds allowing the other persons to arrive. If I’m feeling generous, then I can even use the “open” button to allow them to waddle over 
Add to the list; people who use the lift to travel just one floor when there is a perfectly good set of stairs that would take less time than waiting for a lift, not inconvenience those who have to travel a number of floors and go some way to burning off the morning muffins.
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As an addendum to that, how most buildings are not conducive to use of the stairs. I would happily walk the 3 floors up to work the couple of times a day, but doors are kept locked from people in the staircase apart from the exit at the bottom. One place I worked at did keep the different floors doors open until around 6 pm, and that made perfect sense. Most places just rely on the lifts completely.
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